Family

Jun 1, 2011

Celebrating 5

I know I haven’t blogged in a week, but I have a good reason. L.’s 5th birthday took up a significant amount of the past week.

Well, technically his actual birthday just took up last Wednesday…

But throwing him a party took up several more days. Because I had to clean the house (and it takes me multiple days to clean our house, because I am not a gifted housekeeper, to put it mildly), and buy large amounts of food and beverages.

It was all worth it, of course. Forty-one people — lots of family and several close friends — gathered here to celebrate L. turning five.

Everyone liked the cake, but L. especially loved it.

When we showed it to him, he burst out in spontaneous giggle and said, “Thank you, Mom!”

(If the creatures on the cake look unfamiliar to you, don’t worry. It just means that you have not yet been sucked into the addictive app known as Angry Birds. That’s probably a good thing. But in our house, the majority of people are hopeless Angry Birds fans.)

When the time came, he blew out the candles like a pro.

L. loved his party, and everyone who came seemed to enjoy it as well.

Naturally, I had to spend Monday recovering, and then Tuesday attacking the laundry that I’d been ignoring for the past week.

(Then I turned around and noticed that today is June 1st. How did that happen? How can it possibly be June already?)

So far, being five seems to agree with L. I’m having a slightly harder time with it, though. Five just seems so…old. My little guy is growing up so fast. Every year brings new delights, though, so I’ll just look forward to the ones waiting for us this year. Five will be fantastic!

Filed Under: Family 9 Comments

May 25, 2011

Five (Wordless Wednesday)

written by katrina · 10 Comments

Guess who turns five today?

Happy Birthday to my sweet L.!

“Four” has been a wonderful year, full of milestones and learning and laughter and fun.

I can’t wait to see what “Five” brings us.

I love you, L.!

Visit 5 Minutes for Mom to see other Wordless Wednesday participants.

Filed Under: Family, Wordless Wednesday 10 Comments

May 19, 2011

Losing gracefully…mostly

written by katrina · 6 Comments

It’s been a long time since I did a game review on this blog, but that doesn’t mean I no longer enjoy games. I’ll admit that I don’t play them as often as I used to, but I still love to pull out a board game with family or friends when the opportunity presents itself. And I’ll tell anyone who asks that I don’t care if I win or if I lose; I just genuinely enjoy playing games.

And that’s true…mostly.

L.(4) has been asking me to play games with him lately, and I’m happy to oblige. We play a handful of somewhat obscure games (like Orchard, Froggy Boogie, and Snail’s Pace Race), but he recently got a couple old familiar games out of the cupboard and asked me to teach him how to play — specifically, Connect Four and Trouble. While he’s still a bit young and inexperienced to comprehend blocking someone on a diagonal or deciding which piece to move in order to best position oneself for the next turn, he likes the pieces and the excitement…and, of course, the chance to win.

L. loves winning.

And that’s one reason I want to play games with him. L. doesn’t take it very well when he loses…or when someone (such as…well…me) does something “mean,” like blocking him or sending his piece back to the beginning. I know this is completely normal for a four-year-old (and apparently, for a handful of adults that I’ve known), and I know he’ll learn to handle it better as he matures, but it’s still something we can begin to gently work on.

The other day, we did just that. As we played a rather heated game of Trouble, I purposely sent him back to Start, and showed him several opportunities he had to send me back to Start, too (which he gleefully took advantage of). We talked about how that’s “just part of the game,” and that it can be fun to have a little back-and-forth as we both try to win. We talked about how if I sent him back to start, then I shouldn’t complain when he does the same to me…and vice versa.

Though he agreed in theory, it was still a little rough in practice. At one point, when I only had one piece left that had to reach the finish line, he told me that if I won, he was never EVER going to play Trouble again. EVER. For real.

I kept offering calm guidance on how to be a good sport and encouraged him to hang in there.

Happily, he won in the end. Fair and square. He was thrilled, of course. But he told me “Good game, Mom,” in a very good-sportsmanlike way. And I graciously accepted defeat.

Because I always graciously accept defeat…

Or do I?

Have you heard of Words with Friends? It’s a Scrabble-like game that you can download for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch.

I discovered it a while ago and have enjoyed playing it with a handful of family members. Perhaps it’s been so much fun because I’ve won every single game. Playing against my tween, my teenage nephew, even my very smart husband…I’ve been the Words with Friends champion.

But then my friend, Debbie, got an iPhone. And Debbie…well, let’s just say she’s competitive AND she’s a word game master. Silly me — I recommended that she get Words with Friends and play with me.

What was I thinking??

In our very first game, she beat me 361-315. (My first Words with Friends loss. It was rough.)

And just now — as I was typing this post — I received a notification that she played a 32-point word to pull into the lead in our current game.

I will stand by my claim that I enjoy playing games whether I win or lose. But I’ll also admit to feeling just a tinge of something inside.

Part of me is thinking, “We are just going to have to play game after game after game until I ~~crush~~ beat her.”

But another part of me is thinking, “How many games can I lose before I have to tactfully suggest that we take a break from playing?”

I suppose that’s just the grown-up version of a 4-year-old who prefers winning over losing.

Looks like L. isn’t the only one who needs a little practice with losing…

Played any good games lately? Are you a 100% gracious loser or do you sometimes feel a twinge of “something,” too?

Filed Under: Family, Games, Lessons Learned 6 Comments

May 18, 2011

WFMW: Preschool Teacher Gift Idea

written by katrina · 12 Comments

L. (4) just finished up his preschool year. Though we had gone in with the class on a group gift for L.’s teacher, I still wanted to give her some kind of personal “thank-you gift” for the wonderful year L. had.

But L.’s teacher had told us at the beginning of the year that she doesn’t collect anything and that while she appreciates parents’ thoughtfulness, there was really no need to buy her any knick-knacks during the course of the year. So I had to come up with something more creative…

However, creativity is not my strong suit.

Then one night, a very simple gift idea came to me. It’s not an earth-shattering idea, or even a terribly unique one. But it fit the bill of being personal, expressing thanks, and being specific to L.

I wrote a “fill-in-the-blanks” card for L. to personalize with memories and some of his favorite preschool activities. I placed it on the inside of a simple card (8.5 x 11 cardstock, half-fold). On the facing inside page, I taped a picture of L. and his teacher (which I had very sneakily taken at an earlier preschool function, pretending it was just for me), and a Starbucks gift card. We just put “Thanks for Everything” on the outside cover, but I thought later that I could have had L. also draw a picture on the front — one more way to personalize the card.

Here’s a general idea of what the inside of the card looked like before L. filled in the blanks. (You’ll have to use your imagination a bit.) Click to enlarge.

Because L. is only four, he only wrote in a few of the blanks; he dictated other answers for me to write in. I resisted my ~~bossy~~ motherly urge to influence his answers and just let him fill in the blanks honestly and spontaneously. He also signed “Love, L.” at the bottom of the card. It was neat to see what he had enjoyed most about the year, and his teacher appreciated the authenticity of his answers. All in all, it seemed to go over very well.

As I wrote this post, I (of course) thought of ways the card could have been more creative — I could have had L. illustrate some of the sentences, or I could have added cute clipart or doodles to spruce things up a bit. But this was all in hindsight, naturally. At the moment, what you see above was as far as my creativity took me. But perhaps you can take advantage of my very delayed additional creative ideas.

If you’re interested, I’ve created a pdf file of the card for you to download and use as desired. I also put just the “fill-in-the-blanks” part into a Word document in case you want to use it as a starting point, but modify it to better fit your child or situation.

Download the pdf here.
Download the Word document here.

It worked for me!

Visit We Are That Family to check out other Works-for-Me Wednesday participants.

Filed Under: Family, Works-for-Me Wednesday 12 Comments

May 17, 2011

Perhaps a mood indicator is in order

written by katrina · 7 Comments

The other night, I was getting a quick dinner on the table before running out to the grocery store. Things were a bit hectic, but no more than usual at the end of an average day around here.

“Where are you going?” C.(12) asked.

“The grocery store,” I replied.

His eyes widened a bit and he said, “Sorry.”

“Why?” I asked. “What are you sorry for?”

“For asking,” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

Mad? I wasn’t mad. In fact, I was pretty happy. I assured him that I wasn’t mad, but he insisted that I sounded upset when I told him where I was going.

I reiterated that indeed, I was not upset in the least, and then turned to Chad, confident that because he’s been married to me for more than 17 years and because he knows me so well, he would back me up here.

“I didn’t sound upset, did I?”

“Um…..no??” was his answer. Not convincing. At all.

Sadly, this wasn’t the first time I’d been accused of sounding upset or angry or grouchy or stressed out…when in reality, I was no such thing. I’ve even been accused of looking upset when I’m in total “neutral mode” — reading or surfing the internet or knitting or baking or any of a number of other mundane activities that create very little emotional reaction in me.

Obviously, there’s a disconnect here. Either:

My tween (and my husband too, apparently) misinterprets my facial and voice cues so that he thinks I’m upset when I’m not, OR
I’m genuinely, but unknowingly, coming across as upset when I do not consciously feel upset.

Here’s the thing. Both the tween and I have personalities that lean decidedly toward the melancholy side. So it’s entirely possible that I come out sounding more like Eeyore (or an upset version of Eeyore) than I intend, AND C. hears and sees me through Eeyore-tinged filters, resulting in the appearance of way more angst and misery than actually exist.

I’m not really thrilled with this situation. I know how important it is for moms and wives to be “thermostats” in their homes — setting the emotional tone for the family. And I don’t want to come across as a miserable or perpetually-upset mom. But I feel a bit unsure of how to change the current situation. I’ve made a very deliberate effort to be cheerier and smilier (is that a word?), and I don’t think it’s working. A certain someone still thinks I’m upset or stressed far too often.

Is this just part of interacting with an almost-teen? These communication disconnects?

Maybe we’ll adjust soon and be able to accurately convey and interpret emotions.

In the meantime, I’m thinking I should get some kind of flashing sign for my forehead. It can blink a big ol’ smiley face when I’m feeling fine, and then blink a warning/danger symbol for those times when I’m actually upset or stressed. That wouldn’t be too weird, would it? The more I think about it, the more it sounds like a good idea…