What books cannot do

In case you haven’t guessed, I like books. All kinds of books. And I like what they can do for me.

I enjoy a well-written novel that can keep me turning pages long past my bedtime, eager to find out what happens next.

I love when a book teaches me something new, fascinating me with details and information I never heard before.

But there’s something else I often want books to do for me:

I want books to fix me.

I have countless books about the craft of writing because I’m sure that one of them is going to turn me into a fantastic writer, or even a published novelist. I regularly pick up parenting books because I’m convinced they’ll give me the “perfect” tools to become a “perfect” parent. I read book after book from the Christian Living section of the bookstore, looking for the key to being more godly, more consistent in my prayer life, more loving, more giving.

The thing is, there’s nothing inherently wrong with reading these books. They can teach me things and they can offer encouragement and practical advice.

But they’re not going to do the hard work for me. They’re not going to change me.

No book is going to instantly transform me into a mom who handles every discipline scenario with perfect wisdom and grace.

No book is going to push me out of bed in the morning and whisper into my ear that I need to start my day in prayer.

No book is going to be my writing task-master, forcing me to put words on paper even when I don’t feel like it.

The books might give me some good ideas, but they’re not going to do the work for me.

(Wouldn’t it be nice, though, if we could read a parenting book before bed, and wake up better parents without any effort on our part?)

I’ve been in denial about this issue, I think. It’s only recently that I admitted to myself that I’m looking for some kind of magic cure when I pick up the latest nonfiction that promises to have all the answers and tactics I need.

And so lately, instead of picking up that book, I’ve been talking to myself, reminding myself that the book — whatever this latest one is — is not going to fix me. There is no instant, magic cure.

But wait, please don’t think I’m ending on this on a depressing note.

There is hope for change and progress…I can hope for improvement in my life, little by little. I just can’t expect it to happen as a result of the small act of reading a few pages.

I need to do a few other things:

  • Pray. Ultimately, the most important changes in my life are going to happen through God’s work in my heart and in my life. The things I most need and desire come as a result of the Holy Spirit cultivating them in me. Things like love, joy, patience, self-control. (Sound familiar? See Galatians 5:22-23. I need them all.) I need to pray for God to work in me and I need to nurture my relationship with Him above all else.
  • Make the most important Book a priority. There is one book that is not magic, but supernatural. The Bible is “living and active” and because it is the Word of God, it can impact me in ways no other book can. I need to put this book and the things it says above every other book on my shelves.
  • Exercise discipline, and apply the things I’ve already learned. Hoping to change and praying for change is foolish if I plan to indulge the same old bad habits and ignore the things I know I need to do. Reading about serving others only gets me so far…at some point, I need to actually get off the couch and serve someone. Reading about writing is nice, but will not help one bit if I don’t put my fingers on the keyboard and write something.

In case you’re my husband and you’re now thinking, “Excellent! Katrina won’t be buying any more books!” I’m afraid you’re wrong. See, I’m not saying that the books I enjoy aren’t good or helpful. I’m just saying that they’re not the ultimate solution to my problems. They’re just a starting place. Or maybe more of an in-between place — somewhere between the desire for change and the change itself.

I might still pick up some of those books. I’ll just be thinking of them a bit differently now.

A Milestone

This past weekend, we had a milestone in our family.

C.(11) was baptized.

Our church does not practice infant baptism. Instead, it’s a conscious, deliberate decision made when an individual is older. When a person has asked God to forgive his sins, has accepted by faith the sacrifice Jesus made to pay for our sins, and has given his life to God, he can then be baptized.

In essence, baptism is a public declaration of an individual’s faith in Christ and his desire to obey and live for God.

Needless to say, when C. was baptized this past Saturday, it was a joyous and momentous occasion for us. As parents, there are many things we want to teach our children — everything from basics like tooth-brushing, to how to make a good decision, to good manners, to a strong work ethic.

But most of all, we want our kids to know how much God loves them. And our hearts’ desire is to see them love God in return and to live their lives for Him.

Several years ago, C. asked Jesus to be his savior, and began a personal relationship with God. We didn’t “command” him to be baptized. Instead, we waited. We wanted him to come to this decision on his own. Declaring his love for God in front of others would need to be his choice, and this year, he was ready. He told us at the beginning of the year that he wanted to be baptized.

He attended a short class at our church — just to confirm that he understood what baptism was, and what a relationship with God was all about. And this past weekend, he was part of our church’s “celebration weekend.”

More than 40 people were baptized over the course of the weekend. And C. was the very first. He was a little nervous. After all, everyone was watching. He’d be dunked under water in front of a crowd of people, with all the attention focused on him.  But he did just fine.

Our family gathered around him (C.’s grandparents, a cousin, an uncle, Chad, L.(4), and me), and one of our pastors baptized C.

I can’t explain the feeling I had, watching my son take this big step. I was overwhelmed with love, with thankfulness, and with excitement.

We grown-ups are good at taking these emotions and funneling them into not much more than a big smile. But L. took it a bit further. As C. headed to the back to dry off and Chad returned to our seats with L., L. clapped his hands and shouted, “Yea, C.! Yea, C.! Yea, C.!” Though he’s too young to understand the symbolism or implications of C.’s baptism, he could sense that this was an exciting and wonderful occasion.

And it truly was. We’re so thankful for C., and for his desire to follow God and live for Him. We loved celebrating this milestone with our family and our church. And we pray that God would bless C. and guide him throughout his life.

He is risen!

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead…’”

Rejoicing in Jesus’ resurrection today, and hoping that each one of you would know the incredible love and forgiveness of our Savior. He is risen!

It’s January! Hooray!

L. (3) was happily playing with Legos yesterday morning. He received a Lego fire station set for Christmas and has spent a good portion of the last week creating everything but a fire station with it. In fact, whenever I’ve attempted to help him turn the pile of Legos into the item pictured on the box, I’ve been immediately reprimanded and told I’m doing it wrong.

Confession: This drives me a bit crazy. I’m of the belief that one should follow the rules, especially when it comes to building cool Lego sets. But clearly, my second-born child disagrees with that belief.

Anyway, as I watched, L. picked up his Legos and started walking toward the kitchen in a dazed, out-of-it kind of way, staring up somewhere around the level of the upper cupboards. He wandered past the breakfast table, around the edge of the counter, and across the kitchen. It was almost as if an invisible string were pulling him along.

Just as I figured out what he was looking at and being drawn inexorably toward (the new calendar on the wall), he started jumping up and down — literally — with joy.

“It’s January! Hooray! January! Hooray! January! Hooray! It’s January!! Hooray!!!

Chad and I cracked up. Here was a three-year-old who recognized that there was a new calendar on the wall, who figured out that the big “J-word” on it was “January,” and who was now overwhelmed with excitement at the fact that a new year had arrived.

Even after the jumping stopped, L. had a huge smile on his face and was, without a doubt, overjoyed.

Confession #2: I knew why he was so excited.

We have some fun things planned in the month of January, and L. has known about them for several weeks. Ever since somewhere around December 12th, he’s been asking me, “Is it January yet?” and “Why is December going on for so long?” So today, when he realized that finally, finally December was over and January had arrived, he simply couldn’t contain his glee.

I loved seeing L. so excited — what mom doesn’t enjoy seeing her child incredibly happy?

But the whole situation also made me think about the ways we, as adults, face a new year.

Some people are so glad when January arrives because the previous year was miserable, or difficult, or painful, or stressful…and they are thrilled to see it finally go away. Eager for a fresh start, they welcome January with open arms.

Others are excited to see January on the calendar because the new year holds promise — a new baby scheduled to arrive, a long-anticipated trip, the completion of a project or realization of a dream.

Some are indifferent, seeing nothing to celebrate or enjoy about a new year…just more of the same of what the last year held.

Some look wistfully back at the just-passed year, not quite ready to let it go.

As for me, I often approach a new year with some mixed feelings.

January, in general, is not my favorite month. Where we live, the weather is usually bleak — gray, cold, dreary…no sun for days or weeks at a time. I don’t like it and don’t particularly look forward to it. The holidays infuse excitement and fun and variety into December, while January often feels….blah.

On the other hand, I appreciate the promise of a new calendar year. There’s always a feeling of new beginnings, new opportunities…a sense of anticipation for what the new year will hold.

And this year, I’m struck hard with the comforting thought that regardless of what this year holds — January bleakness? Exciting new opportunities? Heartache? Joy? — that God already knows, and that He is ever working to accomplish His purposes.

Many are the plans in a man’s heart,
but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

- Proverbs 19:21

See, I’m often tempted to have “many plans” in my heart. As with L.’s Lego fire station, I have very clear ideas on how I think things should go and how they should work out. But, of course, I am limited in my perspective, lacking in wisdom, and often selfish in motivation. So my many plans? Let’s just say that I’m thankful they don’t always come to pass!

But with the reminder that God holds the year 2010, and knowing that He is good and loving and in control, I can look at the coming year with excitement. Maybe I won’t jump up and down in the kitchen, but I can echo L.’s sentiment: “It’s January! Hooray!”

Christ Is Risen

Empty Tomb

He Is Risen

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead…”

- Matthew 28:5-7a