I only have two kids.
That’s it. Two. 2.
Not very many, in the grand scheme of things.
I have several friends who have four kids. One of Chad’s brothers just had his fifth child. (Well, technically, the brother’s wife is the one who had the child, but…you know what I mean.)
Chad himself is one of eight kids.
So please tell me: Why in the world can’t I get my kids’ names straight?
I know my kids’ names. If you sat me down and showed me a picture of each of my sons, I promise I would be able to correctly identify them.
Yet, in the heat of the moment — or even in simple, everyday conversation — I say the wrong name.
All. the. time.
(To be accurate, it’s not all the time. But it’s often enough. As in, multiple times per week.)
I’ll be chatting along, and happen to refer to a child — thinking I’m referring correctly — when all of a sudden, a family member will interrupt.
“You said C. Did you mean L.?”
“You said L. Did you mean C.?”
Yes, yes, of course I did.
For the record, there is a 7.5-year gap between my two boys. I had 7.5 years of saying C.’s name before I even had to consider saying another child’s name on a regular basis. But here we are, six years after Child #2, and I can’t seem to get my brain to spit out the right name without deliberate concentration.
Maybe it’s because they’re both boys.
Or maybe it’s because I’m 39 years old and parts of my brain are just giving up on me. Like the part that assigns the correct name to each child.
I don’t know. But I’m wondering if I need to come up with a new strategy.
- Tattooing (or maybe just taping) each child’s name to his forehead, so I am always and forever confronted by the correct names, at least when I’m looking at them.
- Giving up on the name thing all together and just pointing in the correct kid’s general direction when referring to him.
- Using “hey you” or “what’s-your-name” as a general, all-purpose reference for either kid.
No, I’ll keep trying. I’ll muster up all the concentration I can, drink an extra cup of coffee, make intense eye contact…and hope the names come out right.