Dear Baby Bunny Rabbits,

We think you’re very cute. We love how you show up every evening to munch on the clover in our back yard. Admittedly, we get a kick out of your twitchy noses and twilight frolicking.

And to be honest, we’re a bit shocked at how tame you are. I mean, two rambunctious boys playing on the swingset mere feet away from you doesn’t make you consider retreating to the safety of your burrows? You tolerate noise, running, patio conversations. As long as we stay about 15 feet away, it’s all good, right?

Well, that’s fine. Like I said, we enjoy your presence. But just be careful. Our neighborhood does contain dogs and cats, you know. And also hawks. And since you probably don’t have access to the National Geographic channel, let me be the one to inform you: all three of those creatures are bigger threats to your personal well-being than our two kids.

So you know, keep being cute, but watch your back.

Warmly,
Your clover providers

***

Dear Skinny Cow Dark Chocolate Dreamy Clusters,

I thought you were a good idea. Gobs of chocolate and caramel and crunchiness for a mere 120 calories? I could fit that into my daily routine.

The problem is, you’re too good. I find myself trying to find ways to eat more than one cute little serving size in any given day. And if we’re not careful, I could be tempted to consume an entire box of you in one day.

Which would not be a good idea.

So if I pass by you in the grocery store next time I’m there, and seem to ignore you, please know that it’s not really your fault. I just like you too much.

Sweetly,
A chocoholic

***

Dear Chin,

Seriously. Enough with the chin hairs. I’m not even 40 yet, so I’d appreciate if you would just suppress your follicular exuberance for a while, m’kay? The plucking is getting really, really old.

So…knock it off. Got it?

Irritatedly,
Me

P.S. I mean it.

***

Dear precious 5-year-old of mine,

Remember yesterday when you threatened to run away if things didn’t improve around here? That is, if we didn’t stop making your life so difficult by instituting and then enforcing standards and guidelines? I hope you’ve reconsidered your travel plans.

Yes, we’re going to keep enforcing the rules around here. But we’ll love you the whole time. And we promise to try to be reasonable in our expectations.

So please, consider staying here where there’s a comfortable bed, plenty of food, books, toys, and most of all….lots of love.  We’d really miss you if you ran away…even if your planned destination — as you announced yesterday — is just the backyard.

Love always,
Mom