One year in

This past Sunday, we enjoyed our small group’s annual “summer kickoff picnic.” Hamburgers and hot dogs, salads and pasta, and of course…dessert. All enjoyed with great company, good conversation, and plenty of space for the 18 kids to run around.

Though it’s an annual picnic, this was only the second such picnic our family attended. Last summer was our first, and it was actually the very first thing we did with our small group.

[Quick aside: For those of you who are wondering, "What in the world is a small group?" here's a quick explanation. In our church and others, small groups -- also called 'life groups' -- are created for the sake of "doing life together." We study God's word together, pray for each other, support each other, and essentially enjoy Christian fellowship and community together.]

The small group we belong to has been together for more than ten years. But about a year ago, two of the couples left the group to start new “life groups,” and we were honored to be asked (along with another couple) to join the group.

Well, we were mostly honored. But also a little bit nervous.

See, if you were looking for words to describe Chad and me, you might start with “introverted.” Then you’d quickly have to add on “homebodies.” And sometimes you might even want to throw in “socially awkward.”

It’s not that we don’t like people. We just aren’t always comfortable in social situations.

So joining a group of people whom we knew a little bit (mostly just to say “hello” to in the halls of church) and committing to “doing life” with them…well, we knew that for us, it would be an adventure. We’d be stepping out of our comfort zone and into something brand new.

At one point, C.(12) told me that he was surprised we had actually gone through with it and had become part of a small group. “It doesn’t really seem like your thing,” he said.

And he was probably right — it hadn’t been “our thing” before. In fact, left to our own devices, we might not have ever actively sought out a small group. But it was pretty clear by the way God orchestrated the whole thing, that when we were asked, we needed to say “yes.”

So here we are, one year later. What have we done?

Last summer, we enjoyed getting to know everyone through a bunch of fun social activities. Girls’ nights and guys’ nights out, overnight trips to a nearby lake, the summer kickoff picnic, and the infamous very cold camping trip.

In September, we began meeting every other week. We spent the first few months taking turns sharing our life stories. We talked about our spiritual journeys, our family backgrounds, our heartaches, and our heroes. More than a few tears were shed, and it was really a wonderful way for us to get to know each other — especially for the two new couples.

Then we dove into a book study for the rest of the year. We picked Crazy Love by Francis Chan. If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend that you do. This book shook us up, made us think, ignited deep conversations, and kindled in each of us a desire to love God more and follow Him more whole-heartedly.

Here’s the thing: I could have read Crazy Love on my own, and I’m sure it would have impacted me greatly. I could have read it with Chad and had some good conversations about it. But reading it with our small group really deepened the experience. With twelve people — different personalities, different backgrounds, different perspectives — we explored the book’s principles from many different angles. It was good for me to hear perspectives that didn’t line up 100% with my own, and it was helpful to hear what parts of each chapter really stuck with other people.

Time after time, as Chad and I drove home from small group, I would say, “That was good… I really enjoyed the conversation… I’m so glad we joined this group…”

And I am. Yes, homebody, introverted, and socially awkward Katrina — so glad to be part of a community. So glad that I got to know them, study with them, pray with them.

Oh, and laugh with them. There was a lot of laughter this year. Heart-healing, stress-relieving, day-brightening laughter.

As far as we know, they’re going to let us stay in the group. At least, no one has said anything about us being voted off the island out of the group. I figure, if they didn’t kick me out after my post about the camping trip, we should be in the clear. (I also employed a secret strategy of bringing a few yummy desserts to group functions, and I think that helped.)

I guess being part of a small group might be “our thing” now. We’ve certainly seen the value and the blessing and the friendship and the enjoyment that we’ve reaped over the past year. And we’re looking forward to the next year, and the one after that, and the one after that…

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I don’t know what your community looks like. I don’t know if you have friends to walk through life with. Maybe you go to a small church and share deep connections with many of the people there. Or maybe you are just naturally drawn to connect with others.

But if you’re anything like me — an introvert in a large church — and if you’ve wondered whether you should join a small group or a life group or an adult Sunday school class, let me encourage you to take that step. I know it’s a little scary, and yes you might be nervous and feel like you’re going to say all the wrong things. But give it a try anyway. I really think it will be worth it.

Comments

  1. I enjoyed hearing about your invitation to join a life group. It sounds like you’ve found a place where you fit in and can share openly. I pray that you continue to build those bonds of trust and love.

    Our church is so small, we don’t have small groups. Our congregation *is* the small group. :)

  2. Garr says:

    Glad to hear that this small group adventure is still going well. It sounds like you have some great people to share life with there.
    I am still working on that “living life” with people outside of the regular, scheduled, structured gatherings at my church. As far as saying the wrong things – my family reminds of my foot-in-mouth disease, but that is why I love them.

  3. Kristan H. says:

    Katrina, I want you to know how thankful I am for you and glad that you & Chad stepped out of your comfort zone & joined our group!!!!!!! I could never put it as eloquently as you did but I feel the same way about getting so much out of our group! Thank you for being YOU!!!! love ya, Kristan

  4. Speaking as care a group leader (well, assistant…) I’m very glad to hear about your experience. Small groups are the core of our church. I can’t imagine church without them at this point.

  5. What a great story. It sounds like they’ve structured everything in a great way. Our church just formed some new small groups, and we are in one, but after 3 months, it’s still pretty slow going as far as intimate connections. That’s okay though.

    By the way, I don’t think you are socially awkward!
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  6. I love this post! Introverted? Check. Homebodies? Double check. Socially awkward? You should see us at wedding receptions! :) While we don’t have community groups organized to the extent that yours seem to be, our church is small and I am so thankful for community and for friends and for the privilege to come alongside and love each other and support each other and encourage one another. Uncomfortable sometimes, yes, but good. Very good.
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  7. Jackie says:

    This was a great post for me to read. We just joined a lifegroup recently. It’s still pretty new and it’s definitely out of our comfort zone. Most weeks before we go, we both almost back out… and then afterwards we’re like, “that was kinda cool. We like this.” Now that it’s summer we’ve just started hanging out socially with our group. I think this will be a very important part of the group as we actually start doing life together.
    Thought it was interesting to hear someone’s perspective who has been through this!

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