Callapidder Days

When WaterBrook Press asked me if I’d be interested in reviewing (and giving away a copy of) Sarah Zacharias Davis’ new book, The Friends We Keep, it didn’t take me long to say yes. The subtitle especially intrigued me: A Woman’s Quest for the Soul of Friendship. There have been many times in my adult life when I felt that friendship was truly a quest, when I wondered if I would find a “kindred spirit friend.” I looked forward to reading another woman’s exploration of the topic.

Curious? Read on…

The Friends We Keep
by Sarah Zacharias Davis

From the publisher:

The Friends We Keep is Sarah’s thoughtful account of her own story and the stories of other women about navigating friendship. With heartfelt, intelligent writing, Sarah explores the questions every woman asks about friendship and more with personal stories, cultural references and history, faith, and grace. In the process, she delivers wisdom for navigating the challenges, mysteries, and delights of friendship: why we need friendships with other women, what it means to be safe in relationship, and how to embrace what a friend has to offer, whether meager or generous.

My thoughts:

The Friends We Keep is a somewhat-meandering, musing exploration of the many facets of friendship women experience. The author, at times, seemed to be merely thinking aloud as she addressed the struggles, the perplexities, and the joys of friendship. And I have to admit, as I read the book, it evoked a variety of responses in me.

First, I’m the kind of person who likes answers. I often read non-fiction in an attempt to seek guidance and advice (whether or not I decide to follow it). In The Friends We Keep, Davis seems to pose far more questions than answers. There were times when I found myself a bit frustrated, because the author would ask a series of questions, but not ever come back to answer them.

In the end though, I had to admit that friendship issues may simply not have concrete answers — working through struggles or difficulties in friendship is such a deeply personal and individual experience that offering advice might serve little purpose. Instead, I think the author [rightly] encourages us to think through our own experiences and be honest with ourselves and with others.

Second, I was occasionally put off by some blanket statements. Things like “All of us have experienced ______ in our friendships.” Because, honestly, I had not experienced some of these things. Perhaps it’s because I’ve always been the kind of person who only has a few very close friendships… I don’t know. But there were difficulties the author seemed to think were universal, that are not.

Okay, those two little quibbles aside, I did enjoy The Friends We Keep. Chapters such as “The Age of Friendship” really resonated with me. In that chapter, Davis talks about the time in our lives (often early adulthood, or our time in college) when deep friendships seem to develop naturally and deeply, and how, as we get older and pursue careers and/or become wives and mothers, it can become harder to find the time or opportunity to form and nurture soul connections with other women. How true I’ve found that to be!

I appreciated the lessons from history as well — the way various cultures have valued and promoted friendships among women. Interesting stuff!

I also enjoyed the little personal vignettes about women’s friendship experiences scattered throughout the book. Though I couldn’t always relate to some of the angst expressed in those stories, I found it interesting to glimpse into the friendships of others.

Finally, the discussion guide at the end of the book offers some good questions for exploration. They might not always be appropriate for discussion with others, but can certainly be useful for personal contemplation.

The folks at WaterBrook Press have provided a copy of The Friends We Keep for me to give away to one of you! If you’d like to win, just leave a comment on this post.

As a bonus, the winner will also receive a new Bible Study from Kay Arthur entitled, How Do You Know God’s Your Father? This book is part of a new line of studies called 40-Minute Bible Studies. The 40-Minute Bible Studies series provides a unique way for groups to go through a Bible study together. There is no homework to do between meetings — all the work is done together, as a group, in 40-minute segments. All of the needed Scripture, instructions, and conversation questions are included in the text, as are instructions for the group’s leader/facilitator.

Here’s how the publisher describes them:

The 40 Minute Bible Study series from beloved Bible teacher Kay Arthur and the teaching staff of Precept Ministries tackles important issues in brief, easy-to-grasp lessons you can use personally or for small-group discussion. Each book in the series includes six 40-minute studies designed to draw you into God’s Word through basic inductive Bible study. There are 16 titles in the series, with topics ranging from fasting and forgiveness to prayer and worship. With no homework required, everyone in the group can work through the lesson together at the same time. Let these respected Bible teachers lead you in a study that will transform your thinking—and your life.

If you’re interested in picking up either The Friends We Keep or one of Kay Arthur’s new 40-Minute Bible Studies, you can find them at Amazon.com (just click on the images in my post) or you can buy them directly from the Random House website (where you can also check out book excerpts).

But don’t forget — one Callapidder Days commenter will receive a copy of each book. I’ll choose a winner next Friday, August 21st, and announce that winner here. U.S. & Canadian mailing addresses only, please.