1. Remember the last time you went to vote. Recall the screaming, the meltdown, the stares from other voters. Cringe.
2. Spend too much time trying to determine the ideal time to vote — you know, that perfect moment when no one else will be there. After the before-work crowd but before the kids-are-finally-off-to-school crowd.
3. Remember that you live in a very rural area and even a “long line” would probably be no longer than 15 people.
4. Decide on 9:15 a.m. anyway.
5. Empty purse of non-essential items and re-pack with only: a) voting materials (driver’s license and list of preferred candidates) and b) toddler-entertainment materials (a bowl of goldfish crackers, an iPod loaded with kid shows, an emergency pacifier for truly horrendous meltdowns).
6. Wear toddler out with running and tickling, hoping this will lead to a calm and quiet toddler at the voting place.
7. Equip toddler with his favorite toy of the moment (a stuffed Mickey Mouse) and head on out.
8. Count cars in the parking lot and sigh with relief. Doesn’t look too bad.
9. Give toddler long list of instructions:
- You must hold Mommy’s hand in here
- This is a place where we have to talk quietly
- No running
- No pushing buttons
- and the usual mantra: No screaming, no crying, no throwing fits
10. Walk toward the doors quickly, so as to beat the other two people who got out of their car the same time you did.
11. Get in line behind three people and hope things move quickly.
12. Listen to toddler’s voice echo around the cavernous room as he yells, “Ready, Set, GO!!!” repeatedly. Shush him…to no avail. Be thankful the lady behind you is giggling at him, rather than scowling.
13. Hope arm doesn’t fall off from holding toddler in place as he yanks and pulls and jumps and squats and jumps some more and leans and tries to run in circles while holding hands.
14. Get up to the check-in table. Whew! Smile as toddler greets all the nice ladies with an enthusiastic “HI!”
15. Wish that your district had voting booths with curtains. Unfortunately, the podium-style computerized voter thingies stand out in the open, allowing for little privacy. It’s not that you’re worried about keeping your vote secret, so much as that you would like to keep your child’s antics hidden.
16. Insert credit-card type thing in computer thing to start the voting process, being careful to maintain a viselike grip on toddler’s hand. Hope he doesn’t knock over the podium-computer thing with all his jumping and twisting.
17. Be grateful for the nice voting-assistant man who gives your toddler a sticker to put on his stuffed Mickey Mouse.
18. Mark X’s by candidates of choice.
19. Supress a smile as toddler puts the “I Voted!” sticker over Mickey’s eye and proclaims him to be a “pirate”…and then proceeds to yell, “ARRRGGGHHH!!” over and over again.
20. Nearly commit voter fraud by taking the credit-card thingy out of the building because you’re eager to get toddler back to the car. Remember just in time and return the card to the voting-assistant type people.
21. Enjoy toddler’s exuberant, “BYE!! BYE!!!” to all the people in line as you head outside.
22. Buckle toddler in car, climb into driver’s seat, take a sip of waiting coffee, and be glad your civic duty is done for the day.
Ahh, I so remember those days. (smile) This year I will be taking my 19 year old to the polls to vote for the first time. It kind brings tears to my eyes. It wasn’t that long ago, she was a toddler. . . .
Oh I remember taking the kids. I waited til they were gone this morning and went over. I had to deal with a very slow lady at the table looking up voter names and the two grumpy old people behind me. You would have thought they were 2!
I went with the get their right after he wakes up.. still in his pjs and he is sleepy and calm.. This approach worked this time.. However, I did have Tim there with me to pass him back and forth
I laughed out loud at the Mickey pirate episode.
Luckily I have a cousin who attends college here and can watch my 2 kids while I walk across the alley to vote…our long lines are also no more than 15 people:) Glad you voted!!
Whew! I'm sure you're glad that's done. Our 2 year old Girlie was fantastic, but that's because a.) she was tightly restrained in the big stroller, b.) she's really more of an observer than an action hero, and c.) she has a cold & is doped up on Tylenol.
That is a great playbyplay of your voting experience! Thanks for sharing.
I have a Mr. Linky set up today for people to add their link for their voting experience or just comment in the comment section. I hope you’ll consider coming over and adding your link.
Have a great day!
Aww!
I did the same thing when we recently voted in our Canadian elections but I just had my 5 year old. Fish crackers, an Ipod and no line-ups (and the poorest voter turn out EVER) contributed to a smooth experience but I could totally relate to your step by step analysis. Great post!!
That makes me exhausted just reading it! I filled out my mail-in ballot and took the kids with me to turn it in at a polling place over a week ago. No lines, no waiting, and we still got I Voted stickers!
Sounds like fun! I had a quiet time of it this time, but I suspect next election (next year for our region) will be a bit, shall we say, hairier! Li’l Empress will be 2.5 for that.
Hopefully you swung by Starbucks afterward for your free cup of coffee!!
wow…your toddler sounds so much like mone…glad to know there are other “spirited” kidlets out there
Hee hee – that’s why hubs and I tag-team vote! And I’m jealous – we still have to use a pencil to vote up here. I want a credit card type voting machine!
Whew, voting is hard work! LOL.
Pirate Mickey made me laugh out loud.
I live in Oregon and they started all mail-in voting right before I started voting. So I have never voted in a booth. But I have taken my two boys to the grocery store (and the flu vaccine clinic), so I feel your pain.
I’m glad it went as well as it did, and that you voted!
Great post! Been there and done that. But he’ll grow up and then you’ll vote alone as I did! Here’s a weird thought: my oldest son will be voting in our next Presidential election! Weird!
Ah, those were the days! I love how you captured this with such humor.
Very funny! I have had many many of those experiences. It sounds like L. did very very well.
I voted early because of my DR Compassion trip, and I did it while Kyle was at school, so it was all very easy.
It sounds like it wasn’t too bad. We had one lady at our voting place who just let her kid run around and around the extra tables. She was quite while she did it though. It was awfully cute.
Ahh, First I have to comment that his favorite toy is Mickey Mouse! and second I have to say that I love Pirate versions of Mickey Mouse too! Perhaps he will follow in dear ol Aunt E’s fottsteps of skull tattoos!! ah.. but I am only joking K I wouldn’t do that to you!!