It’s a typical Wednesday night at the Callapidder House. The kids are asleep, and Chad and I are reading our respective books in bed, our bedside lamps softly illuminating the room. The cat is sleeping on top of me. (At least, until I squirm into a new position and she leaps from the bed with a disgruntled mew.) It’s probably between 9:30 and 10:00, but we’re both engrossed in our books and no one’s really watching the time.
Moments later, Chad reaches for the bookmark on his nightstand, closes his book, says good-night, turns off his light, and closes his eyes.
Here’s where the jealousy kicks in.
Within five minutes, he’s asleep.
Five. Minutes.
I have never — ever — been able to fall asleep that quickly.
Back in high school, my best friend and I used to occasionally play board games at her house after school, and every once in a while, we’d pull out Trivial Pursuit. I very clearly remember being asked one question in Science and Nature:
How long does it take the average person to fall asleep?
Hmm… I pondered this one for a while. I thought about how long it took me, but I knew that it took me longer than “the average person.” Finally, trying my best, I made my guess: 22 minutes. My friend thought that sounded good to her too and flipped over the card.
The answer? 7 minutes.
I couldn’t believe it. People actually fell asleep in 7 minutes? Average people? Meaning that many people took even less time to get snoozing?
How disheartening.
And then, apparently, I married one of those better-than-average sleepers. Chad is always asleep within minutes of lights-out. Meanwhile, I read my book until I’m nice and tired, and then manage to toss and turn for another 20-30 minutes until my brain finally shuts off.
I once took a temperament test (based on the DiSC system) that told me my temperament (C) had the hardest time sleeping because it’s so hard to make our brains shut off. We tend to (over-)analyze things and find our minds running round and round in circles, even when we’re tired and ready to sleep.
I guess that’s a good enough reason for my slumber troubles, but there are many, many nights when I wish I were more like Chad. He’s plenty analytical, but can still turn things off when it’s time to get some Zzzz’s.
Where do you fall on the sleeping continuum? Do you head off to dreamland with barely a thought? Or do you, like me, take your sweet time falling asleep? I hope, for your sake, that you’re more like my husband.
Sleep is VERY illusive to me. I think men just fall asleep faster, too.
allusive?
Take two Benedryl. Works like a charm. (and helps with those pesky allergies too.)
Terry also is asleep within 5 minutes — fast asleep. In fact, if the lights are off and we’re chatting, he’ll fall asleep in a long conversational pause.
Me — I’d say that 20 minutes is more like it, and sometimes more than that.
My policy is not to look at the clock. I don’t want to know how long I’m not sleeping.
I’m exactly like you – I can’t sleep and my husband falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and can sleep through anything. If I do fall asleep right away, I’ll be awake in a few hours. It’s very frustrating.
Nope. Takes me awhile. And it’s not just a gender thing. I remember our last ladies retreat being amazed on those uncomfortable bunks that some women started snoring almost as soon as the lights went out. Which of course made me stay awake even longer.
I’m like you. It takes me a long time to fall alseep. But my husband is out like a light almost instantly. Grrrr! However, since having kids I’m able to fall alseep a little sooner…guess they wear me out.
)
elusive! good grief sorry about that
Sleep has always come easy to me. Usually 5 or 10 minutes unless something really intense is going on. I’ve always felt bad for those who cannot sleep quickly and for those who sleep lightly. Sleep is definitely one of those blessings from God. I’ve often wondered if birth order affects sleep. I’m a last born and can sleep through almost anything whereas Rick is a firstborn and wakes to lots of little noises. Perhaps birth order is a factor for you?
Yay! I’m not alone! My husband is the one that falls asleep as soon as the lights are out, also. It drives me crazy! I think I’m a lot like you – takes me at least 20 minutes to fall asleep.If I have caffeine after noon – I can kiss the night away, too.
Sleep has come easier since having the kids, but not as easy as I’d like!
Funny to find your post today. I snuggled down to sleep last night about 12:00. by 2:30 I was still awake. I finally gave up and went on the computer and actually had an old classmate instant message me. She couldn’t sleep either. Once I am asleep I am gone, but sometimes it takes awhile. I am pretty sure it isn’t in seven minutes.
I am exactly like you.. the other night I looked at the clock 3 different times and it had been over an hour. Some nights arent that bad. Tim my husband sounds just like your husband. He is asleep in no time. My roommate in college laughed and quoted me all trough out college for yelling at my brain to turn off because I wanted to go to sleep.
I used to be that way, but within the past couple of years I have added so much to my workload (teaching lessons, band practice, blogging, and then recently – studying for a potential job, not to mention all of my mommy duties) that I fall into bed exhausted every night and am almost immediately asleep. I think it has something to do with only getting about six hours of sleep a night for several years running.
My husband usually stays up working on his computer until the wee hours of the morning, so I’m used to having the bed to myself. If he goes to bed at the same time as me then I toss and turn even if I’m exhausted, and he drops right off to sleep. Fortunately, he only does this about once a month.
Arrrg! Just had a nice neat post written and the cat jumped right in the middle of the keyboard. Poof!
I’ve always had a hard time falling asleep. Discovered that imagining what I’m going to write next on my blog or for my story relaxes me and fall asleep in the middle. If I read a book, it keeps me awake. Hubby falls asleep within seconds of getting into bed.
Robin
I’d kill to fall asleep in 7 minutes. Add me to the 20-30 minute crew.
I think it must be males vs females. What you described is similar to what happens here, although my husband wouldn’t be caught dead reading a book. He stays up later than I do (he’s one of these lovely people who hates to sleep and “waste” his time, so he gets by on 5 or 6 hours a night, while I need 8 or MORE!). He watches TV till he’s sleepy and then he’s probably out in 3 minutes. I read until my eyes are about gone and then toss and turn. I think it’s that men can ignore things and shut things off and most women can’t. We’re detail oriented, and we are laying there thinking about things we did, didn’t do, should have done, things that need to be done tomorrow, etc. A thousand details rolling around in your head makes it hard to fall asleep!
Great post!
oh man, i though i was the only one who took forever to fall asleep and was married to a man that can fall asleep in a short conversational pause. and the kicker is, if i’m tired… really tired… it takes me even longer. what’s up with that!?!? just another mystery in my life….
Yeah, I’m with ya. I am a high I on the DISC test and I can NOT slow down my brain and stop re-hashing every move of the day and anticipating every move of the coming day. The Boss? Falls asleep practically walking from the bathroom to the bed – a grand total of about 5 steps! Grrrrrr.
Yeah, I’m with ya. I am a high I on the DISC test and I can NOT slow down my brain and stop re-hashing every move of the day and anticipating every move of the coming day. The Boss? Falls asleep practically walking from the bathroom to the bed – a grand total of about 5 steps! Grrrrrr.
I, unfortunately, am like you. I lie in bed with my mind racing in spite of my best efforts to shut it off. My mom, however, was like Chad. She could drop off in under five minutes any time she wanted to. She always said it was her clean living that did it.
BTW, I got my CD today and I love it! Thanks again for the give away.
cjh
Hi Katrina,
I emailed you at your gmail address but thought I’d tell you here, too. You won one of the six copies of Knit Two I’m giving away.
I’ll need your mailing info, please. Congratulations! As many books as you give away, I think it’s very fitting you won one. LOL
Barb
I’ve been hearing about the studies on lack of sleep being related to short term memory loss and other disorders (like alzheimers). I think to myself, tonight it’s gonna be different and tomorrow I’m going to have my short term memory back. Usually by 1am, I’m frustrated beyond belief that I probably won’t remember anything I’m supposed to since I’ll be getting about 5 hours of sleep, if I’m lucky! I want a good 8 hours of sleep, uninterupted, and in a row. No dogs waking up in the middle of the night, no children wandering in because they have to go potty, but they’re in my room, and no having to get up early because someone made plans for 7-8am! I remember in HS sleeping until noon. Ah, for the good ol’ days. When my husband would fall asleep in approx. 5 min of laying down, I wanted to nudge him, and if I were particularly annoyed wanted to shove him off the bed. “oops, how’d that happen?” ;o) If someone figures it out, let me know. My friend Amy Hagberg was doing an online radio interview with Ginger Garrett and said that doing a “cleanse” of her system gave her the best night sleep ever and she was used to taking every known med for sleeping. A cleanse and a good night sleep? Might be worth looking into. Sorry this post was so long!!
~Mimi B
my husband is the same way, he just nods off without a care in the world, while my brain is thinking about what I either didn’t get done today, or what I will need to start on tomorrow…unless I am pooped and then I can nod off real quick….
I just found your blog a week ago, and I really like it! As for sleeping, I swear it takes me at LEAST 30 minutes to fall asleep every night. My husband falls asleep within minutes. I can be having a conversation with him and he will fall asleep in the middle, wake up and tell me about his 1 minute dream he had. It makes me so mad that he can just hit the pillow and be gone the rest of the night!
Oh, don’t I know it. DH is asleep once he hits the pillow. To fall asleep I need to read at least several pages, even at midnight.
I take sinus medicine when needed to help me nod off. Usually works.
Michael is asleep with in minutes sometimes seconds of his head hitting the pillow. I usually have to watch TV until I fall asleep. I wish I was more like Michael. But once I am asleep I am out!
It takes me awhile too! 7 minutes sounds ridiculous although my husband takes about 3 minutes I hate it!! It’s worse when he’s been drinking it’s when his head hits the pillow! It makes me so mad because sometimes I’ll ask him a question and he was awake when I started but never answers me lol
I’m one of those that falls asleep very quickly. Usually, within 5 or 10 minutes of my head hitting the pillow, I’m out. But, I am a night owl, so it’s not unusual for me to wait until 2 or 3 a.m. to go to bed.
I’m just like you…takes me a while to fall asleep while my husband falls asleep in about two minutes. I wish I was more like my husband…say goodnight and then your out. That would be nice. Instead I usually have to watch TV to get to sleep. It’s the only way to get my brain to stop going round and round and round.
It generally takes me anywhere from a half an hour to several hours to fall asleep. I’ve stopped eating before bedtime, stopped drinking caffeine (egads!), and still..no sleep. I’m jealous of your husband too. I wonder what his secret to sleep is–maybe he could bottle it–you’d make a mint!
I’m like you, Katrina. I read for a bit before bed, usually, and then it still takes me a good 15 minutes to a half-hour to fall asleep. Some nights it’ll take me closer to an hour! And, it’s terribly frustrating, especially when you were soooo tired when you WENT to bed! What happened?! LOL.
But, there are also some (very RARE) nights where I’ll fall asleep almost as soon as I hit the pillow… i think those are usually the days when I’ve been outdoors a lot — lots of good fresh air to knock me out. LOL. Don’t know that for sure, though.
Either way… know you’re not alone!
sooo—sleep—so over rated—or so I tell myself. Most nights I fall asleep in 30 minutes or so—but staying asleep–that is a different subject! Sometimes I will wake at 11 pm after going to bed a 9:30pm—and I will not go back to sleep for the whole night! Awful!!! Send the Ambien CR asap!
I think I’ve found a new blog to read
You sound a lot like me (I read the 100 things about me!–mono-check! messy housekeeping-check! #1God-check! 
). I also can rarely fall asleep quickly. My husband, on the other hand once fell asleep sitting in the car talking (when we were dating-we don’t have to sit in a car to talk anymore…well, maybe we should start doing that–no interruptions!). He hits the pillow and he’s out in seconds. 
on him!
i’m just like you. i cannot shut off my brain and it drives me nuts! i dont have any tips, really. the only thing that helps these days is that i’m completely exhausted after such a busy day that i’m falling asleep a bit faster.
i have a night or two every few weeks where i can’t sleep at all. that is the worst.
Your husband sounds just like mine. I don’t think my husband has ever seen me fall asleep.
I am usually asleep in less than a minute! If it takes me longer than say 3 minutes I get very frustrated! I have a much harder time getting my brain to start than to stop!
my baby would love some new books!