Let me preface this post by saying that I am married to a truly great guy. Over the 14+ years that we’ve been married, he’s learned that occasionally, I cry for absolutely no reason, and that when I share my deepest feelings with him, I might just need a listening ear, not a solution. He’s gone from not knowing what in the world to do when my tears start (which is, to be honest, a rare occurrence) to suggesting I climb in the bath with a good book or take a personal time out (perfect solutions).

Yet for all the progress he’s made, and for all his patience in dealing with my own fluctuating feelings, he (like many guys) still needs a bit of help when it comes to identifying and understanding the complicated world of Emotions.

As I mentioned yesterday, we had some family over on the 4th of July and, true to form, we made them play games with us. As we played Hit or Miss, the vast emotional chasm that exists between the “girls” and the “boys” became painfully obvious.

Let me set the scene:

Players
My father-in-law
Wels (Chad’s brother)
Kara (Wels’s wife)
Chad
Katrina (that’s me)

The Gist of the Game
Essentially, during each round, you write down as many items as you can think of (in one minute) that fit into the category for that round. Afterward, you share items and score points based on whether other people came up with the sames ones you did (see my full review for more info, if you’re curious).

Okay, so, in case you haven’t yet guessed, one of our rounds featured the category of:

Kara and I immediately began scribbling down emotion after emotion on our papers. Throughout the entire minute allowed, you could hear our pencils scratching. We didn’t stop to ponder, didn’t have to think hard. And if we’d had more time, I’m sure we could have written down even more.

As for the guys? Let’s just say that their pencil-scratching was a bit slower. And more sporadic. And it stopped before the minute was up. (Chad confessed to me later that he had come up with a grand total of four emotions.)

I won’t give you a play-by-play of the entire round, but let me share a few highlights:

• The first emotion shared by one of the guys was “anger.” All the guys had that one on their lists.
• When one of the girls listed “confused” as an emotion, Chad was confused. The way he sees it, people either are confused or they’re not. But “feeling” confused isn’t really something he had considered.
• The girls both had “depressed” on their lists (not surprising, since their lists were a mile long). But perhaps there was another good reason for that when it turned out…
• Neither of our husbands had listed “love” on their lists.

Sigh… Married guys scratching their heads, trying to come up with emotions…and missing “love”?

They defended themselves by declaring that “Love is a choice!” And they’re absolutely right. In fact, the decision to love is far more important and lasting than the “feeling” of love, but I still don’t think that lets them off the hook.

There was a little good-natured ribbing all around. I wasn’t surprised at all, though. On the few occasions that I’ve asked Chad, “How does that make you feel?”, he gets a panicked look on his face and starts scrambling for an answer. If, instead, I ask “What do you think about that?”, I’m sure to get a comprehensive reply. Thinking, he totally gets. Feeling, well… We’ll keep working on that.

Either way, I love you, Chad! (And when I say “love,” I mean that as both a feeling and — more importantly — a choice!)

Updated to add: I forgot one other little fact. My father-in-law DID have “love” on his list. He was quick to say that his wife had taught him about that one.