Callapidder Days

I am good at worrying. Really good. In fact, I’m such a good worrier that I can be very worried, and not even know what it is that I’m worried about.

See? That’s talent.

And that’s how I woke up this morning. My stomach was in knots, and I had that anxious, jumpy feeling. It seemed that impending doom waited just around the corner, but I had no idea what I was so worried about. So I did what comes naturally: I made a list.

I sat down and went through all things that could potentially be worrisome for me today. I listed everything from petty personal inconveniences and niggling worries about toddler illnesses (yes, L.’s sick again) to (multiple) heart-breaking family situations. I thought about the opportunities I have to offer wise counsel, except for the fact that I have no clue what counsel to give. I reviewed the million-and-one things that have to get done in the next week.

No one thing jumped out at me, but as I reviewed the list, it seemed that any of these — and certainly all of them in collaboration — could be causing the stomach-knotting stress I was experiencing. I knew I should pray about them all, turn each and every one of them over to God. But before I prayed, I read a section of Keep a Quiet Heart. Elisabeth Elliot always gives me something to think about, and nearly always plenty to apply as well. Today was no exception.

My reading today was on giving thanks. “Often when we make a list of things to thank [God] for,” says Elliot, “we include only things we like.”

Yep. Guilty!

Ms. Elliot reminded me that we are to give thanks “in everything” — and that includes the stuff on my Worry List. Those things are in my life for a reason, and can be used by God for good.

She goes on to suggest: “Take the list of whatever we’re not thankful for and measure it against the mighty foundation stones of our faith… He permits [the things we don't like] to happen because it is in this fallen world that we humans must learn to walk by faith… Those disappointments give us the chance to learn to know Him and the meaning of His gifts, and, in the midst of darkness, to receive His light.”

So true!

I think my favorite part of the reading was this:

Thanksgiving is a spiritual exercise, necessary to the building of a healthy soul. It takes us out of the stuffiness of ourselves into the fresh breeze and sunlight of the will of God. The simple act of thanking Him is for most of us an abrupt change of activity, a break from work and worry, a move toward re-creation.

I definitely needed a “break from worry” today, to escape my own stuffiness, and to engage in that spiritual exercise of giving thanks. It actually was refreshing to not only turn over my Worry List to God, but to then thank him for those things, the irritants, uncertainties, and even heartbreaks. I know it seems counter-intuitive, and I’ll be the first to admit that by bed-time, I might find myself worrying again…and not feeling particularly thankful. But Elizabeth Elliot is right: all our worries, all the things we’re not happy about, all the struggles…take part in the building of our faith. They give us the opportunity to look to God, to depend on Him, to know Him, to recognize His sustaining power even in the midst of the misery.

Do you need a break from worry today? A “fresh breeze”? I invite you to spend some time thanking Him. Thank him for the good things, but also the difficult ones. And see if your attitude experiences a little transformation.