Book Review & Giveaway: For Parents Only

Just last night, my husband, Chad, was looking at a picture of C. from last year and commented that he looks so much older now. Then, continuing along the theme of kids growing up so quickly, he asked me what I thought it would be like when I have a teenager. I immediately shushed him. I didn’t want to think or talk about that. C. is only nine years old, and most of the time, I utterly and completely ignore the fact that he’ll be a teenager before I know it. (I also ignore the fact that, by some estimations, he’s already — at age 9 — considered a ‘tween, or preteen.)

I prefer to think of C. as a “kid” for as long as possible. It’s not that I want to deny him the adventures and independence that await him as he grows up. It’s that I’m not quite ready to deal with all things that adolescence will bring to our home and to our relationship with him. For the moment, I’ve got an okay grip on this parenting thing (well at least right now, as I type this, for this specific minute, I think I do), and I have a nagging feeling that having a Teenager is going to change all that quite drastically.

But I know… I can’t ignore the inevitable. And it’s probably best to start thinking about the upcoming changes sooner rather than later.

So I’m glad to know there are books out there like Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice’s new book, For Parents Only. The subtitle for the book really drew me in: “getting inside the head of your kid.” The purpose of the book? To give parents some insight into what’s going on in the inner lives of their kids.

What I like most about this book is that the authors approach the subject much like I tend to attack things: research, research, research. They conducted well-designed surveys and personal interviews with more than 1,000 teens and preteens, asking them about everything from peer pressure to mood swings to personal identity. Their findings are presented in For Parents Only, giving parents (and anyone else who cares about kids) a personal glimpse into what teens are really thinking and feeling.

It can be tempting for me to think, “Hey, I used to be a teenager, so I already know what they think and how they feel.” But the truth is, though I’m only a decade or so (okay, okay, maybe closer to two decades) removed from my teen years, I can see already that I need reminders of what those days were like. I need to remember the overwhelming feelings that come with increasing freedom, that constant internal struggle between wanting boundaries and wanting to escape them, the havoc that teenage hormones can wreak.

For Parents Only is a great resource for those reminders, and for practical advice that I — now as a parent — can apply in our family. Although I’m currently the mom of a 9-year-old and a 1-year-old, I see things in this book that I need to start thinking about right now — both so that I’m prepared for future ~~struggles~~ adventures, and because establishing certain habits, attitudes, and boundaries now will make the transition into the world of “A Teenager Lives in This House” a little smoother.

Curious about For Parents Only? Check out Shaunti’s website to read actual teen survey results, including verbatim responses to a final open-ended question from the survey.

And if you think For Parents Only is a resource you could use (and I definitely recommend it), you can pick it up at Amazon.com…. BUT, you can also leave a comment here for a chance to win a copy of the book. I have two copies sitting in my dining room, just waiting to be sent out. I’ll leave this drawing open until next Wednesday night, when I’ll draw two winners. I will then announce those winners with my weekly Thursday book giveaway.

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As we watch our cherished no-longer-little ones begin the process of flying free, what a comfort it is to entrust them to the One who made them and to know that he holds them securely in his hands.
– For Parents Only