I believe it was Socrates or Aristotle or another one of those historically foundational philosophical types who said, “Know Thyself.” I don’t have a problem with that sentiment. But in honor of today’s Love- and Relationship- Themed WFMW, in which Shannon has asked us to share some relationship advice, I’d like to expand that admonishment to:

Know Thy Loved Ones

Now I don’t mean you should just know your family members’ Social Security numbers or favorite colors (although both of those facts will come in handy at times; probably not the same time, but I guess you never know).

No, I’m talking about really and truly knowing the people you are closest to. Taking the time to study and learn all about your husband and kids is one of the best investments of time and energy that you can make.

When you really know what makes your husband tick, you’ll know:

- The best time to bring up a sensitive subject.
- What he really means when he says, “Nothing’s wrong.”
- How to make sure he knows that you are on his side no matter what.
- When he needs a few minutes to decompress.
- The best way to encourage him.

When you really know what makes your kids tick, you’ll know:

- What discipline strategy is most likely to work in any given situation.
- How to let them know you really love them.
- When they need a time out and when they just need a hug.

Knowing all the ins and outs of your family members, learning about their personalities and passions, their insecurities and their gifts only comes with time. But I’d like to offer a few resources that I’ve found helpful in my own journey toward knowing my husband and kids.

The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman

I’ve read my share of marriage books, but it was this one that spurred the most conversation and agreement between my husband and me. The basic premise of this book is that people tend to give and receive love in five ways: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Dr. Chapman helps readers discover their primary “love language” as well as that of their spouse. While I think I’ll always be working on better expressing my love to Chad, just knowing what “language” is most meaningful to him goes a very long way. I recommend this book to all the newly-married couples I know!

The Five Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman

Same premise, different audience. This book leads parents through the process of discovering their children’s “love languages” and offers excellent advice on how to fill your kids’ “love tanks” based on that information.

Different Children, Different Needs by Charles Boyd

This is a fantastic resource that helps parents to understand the God-given personalities of their children. The author discusses potential conflicts that might arise between parents and kids who have very different (or very similar!) personalities, and offers parents guidance in tailoring their parenting to best nurture, raise, and meet the needs of each child — as the individual he or she truly is.