The expectation had been clearly defined.
“Okay, here is what you are allowed to do. And here is what you are not allowed to do. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
That proverbial line in the sand had been drawn. A boundary. A guideline. A rule. You may go this far and no farther. You know the right thing to do — stay on this side of the line and reap the rewards of obedience and self-control.
But as soon as the line had been drawn, she felt pulled — almost dragged – right up to it. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to push just one little toe over that line, would it? No one would even notice. And it’s not like it would hurt anyone. C’mon, it was just a silly old line. It could have been drawn anywhere. And it was just a toe. It wasn’t like she was going to jump over the thing.
Sounds a little like a 3-year-old’s struggle with boundaries, doesn’t it? But instead, it’s a 30-something’s struggle with a personal challenge.
My struggle.
A mere five days ago, I made a decision. I would not buy a single book until March. As of March 1st, all bets are off, but between now and then, I have committed to not spending any money on books.
Ugh.
I mean, it’s a reasonable commitment. If I lined up the books that I own but have not yet read, they’d surely circle the globe house once or twice. I don’t technically need any books. And even if I read nonstop between now and March 1st and somehow managed to finish all the books in our house, there’s this little thing called….oh yeah, the library. I hear they have books I haven’t read yet, too.
So it’s established: I don’t need any more books. Right now.
But as soon as I made this little promise to myself (after which, I foolishly told two people about it so they could “hold me accountable” – what was I thinking?), the temptations started their attack. It seems that every magazine, every website, and many blogs are pointing me toward fabulous new books that I simply must have on my shelves. Or while at Barnes & Noble (I promise, I only went in to get a coffee), I see this terrific book on presidents that C. would just love. Educational, yet silly and entertaining at the same time. Or I just happen to stumble across Amazon.com and they have recommended the perfect parenting book for me – one that I need right now to teach me how to handle current events in our family.
Surely it wouldn’t hurt to buy just one little book. I mean, what if I searched all pockets, vehicles, and items of furniture for loose change and bought a book with that? It’s not like I’d be spending “real” money on a book – that money wasn’t going to be used anyway. It would be like a free book. Right?
Okay, wrong.
Five days down. I haven’t bought any books. This really shouldn’t be a big deal. After all, I’ve gone many days – weeks, even – without buying a book in the past. Quite often, actually. But somehow the very act of saying I won’t buy books until March makes the temptation that much stronger.
I think I know how three-year-olds feel when someone says, “Whatever you do, don’t touch that button.” Hmm… just one little touch won’t hurt. Right?
Well I am so with you. In fact, I might just as well join you – how’s that? I’ve said to myself no more books until I finish the ones I have but I might as well draw the line too – March is a good goal. And you know what – it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who vacillates about that imaginary boundary that I set for myself!!
Now does buying a book as a gift for someone else and reading it first count??
Thanks for the smile this morning – I needed the laugh!
I’m am so relieved to know that someone else has my book-buying disorder. I keep making myself not go to the bookstores. I admire your strength; I could never go into a Barnes and Noble without buying a book. I’ll think of you often. What a brave challenge to try!
Oh, the pain! No new books till March? How can you do it. I’m struggling here too. I’ve discovered paperbackswap.com to get rid of old books, but of course, I also bring in new books with it because of the “swap” feature. My children already have bookshelves full. What to do. .what to do.
Good Luck
p.s. Used to be Noillirac
Smiling and nodding with you. . . .
You can do it. When you told me, I agreed (in principle). I have a coupon for a free book at my overstock bookstore that I stop in on Tuesdays. I didn’t go in, because while I know a completely free book would be fine, I might not be able to resist the other books–”only one dollar!” or “It’s regularly priced ($3), but it’s perfect, and at this place, when they sell out it’s gone.”
When I ponder the idea, I, too, look at all the books that I own that I haven’t read. That I really really want to read.
Does this mean your husband can’t buy you a book for Valentine’s Day? My husband and I would have so many problems with this goal. I tell you we splurge on very little, but B&N is definitely a challenge for us.
I’ve just joined Paperback Swap to solve this little problem. It’s wonderful! I have enough points for 7 books right now. All I do is request a book and another reader sends it to me. Free. Of course, to get books you must send books. Give it a try
Oh I can soooo relate, Katrina, athough I must say my line of unread books in the house is not quite as long as yours. But I cannot go into a bookstore without buying, either, so I basically avoid them. Which is a shame because it is a place where I feel totally relaxed.
And I did the same as you, with putting it out there for accountablity, but with only having 4 cups of coffee a day. I posted it in the best of intentions. Whatever was I thinking? But I’ve stuck to it, but it sure is hard on the weekends. When I’m reading said books.
This made me laugh. To satisfy the need you could go to the library and check out books that have to be returned and don’t cost anything of course unless you are late??
You can do it Katrina! And I love the reply your sweet mom gave…sounds like something my own mom might write!
The compulsion to buy books is probably a certifiable disorder and extremely contagious.
You do realize that it’s six weeks until March?
I think I’m just going to pray for you.
I’m right there with you on this one. I actually have the goal this year to not buy any more than 10 books during the entire year. Gulp! I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to count books I get through paperbackswap. Those books are sure tough to resist! I just have to remind myself to go look at my shelves and the hundreds of unread books I already have (Yes, you read that right – hundreds!).
You are a brave woman! I was tickled reading this–I, too, buy books faster than I can read them. Definitely a weakness!
A 3 year old needs to test their new found freedom. This is the joy of childhood. All of the
A-HAHA’S If the only vice in your life is getting hundreds of books that surely won’t be read then more power to you.
There are certain stores I can’t go into. The teachers store is a candy store for me. A bookstore is another no-no.
I went shopping with a dear friend the other day–I haven’t gone to a mall in 3 years on purpose–She kept asking me what I wanted? It was nice to look and it was also nice that I didn’t bring in my wallet.
I believe that reading books is one of the nicer vices.
Of course, I would support you if you weren’t able to follow through with your March committment.
Laugh and Smile–You are doing great and you are loved!
Pamela
You’re a better woman than I am. At the first of the month I told myself I was NOT going to order anything from Stampin’ Up (scrapbooking, card-making, rubber stamp company) until Feb.
Ask me what I’m expecting from UPS later today. Go on, ask me.
Yes! A 25 lb box of stamping supplies. *face palm* It’s like dangling alfredo sauce in front of me… renders me powerless against its pull.
Oh my, that would be like me saying no more containers until March….yikes!
You can do it, I know you can!!
Laura
I HAVE to stop buying books until we build new bookshelves. Well, and after this month’s school bookorders. Then I’ll stop for a while….
Katrina – I am SO with you. No you are not alone. Anything that we draw the line on instantly become inviting. I need to draw a line on books but mine has been on Starbucks. None until February. Let me just say that my husband never surprises me with a cup of my favorite ho drink. Guess what he did last night
I am sooo sending this to my Mom, we just had the same conversation and I told her I am signing her up for BBA (book buying anonymous) !!!
Katrina, Great, I’ve got some you can read. Will be waiting for results. Got a smile also. Love, Mom
Not buying any books? Girl. That’s like trying not to cough when you get that tickle in your throat. LOL! Good luck, I bet you can do it.
Oh I know exactly what you mean Katrina. What is it about determining you aren’t going to do a thing – like not eat sweets until you lose the five pounds you’ve put on by eating too many sweets? I think the enemy is just waiting for us to utter those fateful words. But we have someone who has already won the victory for us on our side. You can do it Katrina!!!
I found you by clicking random in Writer…interrupted. I’m glad I did. I think I’ll pull up my chair, grab my coffee and read.
I feel your pain. I swore off buying books because, well the library was free. But that’s not good enough. I have own the books.
So I started writing book reviews. I get about 4 books a month delivered to my door. All I have to do is read it and write a review on my blog.
What could be better?? Oh yes and I get to keep the books too.
I can’t ever get RID of my books. I try to weed through them from time to time and I just can’t! And then yes, I keep buying more…
Loved this post. Buying books is not my issue–I’m just fine with the library–but I have my own areas of struggle with self-discipline!
Jeanne
yikes. I can’t imagine. I may not buy a book until March, but as soon as I can’t do something, I want it!
But then, I get 99% of my reading from the library now – I’ve got enough reading material in my stack to wait until it’s my turn for the new releases!
I applaud your commitment! I have to admit, when I first read you’ve promised not to buy any books until March 1st, my heart skipped a beat. I thought to myself how hard that would be for me.
But, how great your obedience is! I’ll pray for you
you made me smile girl – oh yes – once the boundary is set, then the temptations triple!
i remember once I had just had a huge conversation with our friends and my hubby about our need to budget better and my need to spend less and I resolved to get better – immediately. well, the next day I was changing channels and I saw these flip flops on the shopping channel. Now I NEVER buy things from the shopping channel, but these light-as-air flip flops had the Birkenstock FOOT BED!!! In a light, tiny flip flop. I NEEDED them. (I have the WORST time finding flip flops that I can actually wear, but I know that I like Birkenstocks.) So I bought them. I didn’t mention it to my hubby for while I think. But girl – those $30 with shipping flip flops have been some of the most comfortable, worn a billion time, purchases of my LIFE!
so, sometimes, it is ok to cheat.
Well, I’d invite you to stop and visit at the bookstore but it sounds like it’d be too much, so just tell me 3/1/07 you’ll poke your head in. In the meantime, youre right – we all have a stack we should read before we buy more, even me. And today I told someone to go to the church library and check out the trilogy by Francine Rivers – too expensive this time of year for her to buy.
Our bookshelf overflows…and still I buy. I do love the library though, especially for those fiction titles that may or may not become a “must read again…and again…and again…”
May God grant you His strength to sustain you in this very real temptation…
Why does this sound so much like my promise to myself to not snack at work?
We don’t want what we have; we want what we cannot have.
Kind of like Adam and Eve in the garden, don’t you think?
Stand strong, hand this struggle over to God and go enjoy that which you do have, Katrina. You’ll feel so much more confident when you get to the end of the month that God wasn’t kidding when he said that “you can do all things through Christ” thing.