I’d be curious to see a study on just how much time moms spend in the car with their kids. I’m thinking it’s a whole lot.
And while there are times when we’re in the car and I just want to blast some good music, I have to say that one thing that regularly works for me is:
[No, not the NPR radio show (although Click and Clack are rather amusing).]
I’m talking about good old-fashioned conversation. In the car.
It seems that when I leave the radio off, when the cell phone is nowhere to be found, when I’m open and willing to chat, car rides foster all kinds of great conversations. There must be something about the distraction of passing scenery that tricks kids into opening up a little more or asking those questions that they might otherwise be afraid to ask.
I’ve enjoyed precious, heart-melting moments – like this one. I’ve survived some conversations that initially make me think – oh my, where is this going? Like the one last fall that started with, “Mom, will it hurt you when it’s time for the baby to come out of you?” I’ve discovered secret crushes, deep-seated dreams, hidden fears.
I honestly believe that some of my very best conversations with C. have taken place while in transit. And that’s enough to motivate me to make sure that I create the opportunity for more of them in the future. It works for me.
So next time you’re going somewhere with the kids – the grocery store, the airport, a school function – leave the radio silent and turn off your cell phone.
And see where the conversation takes you.
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Check out Rocks in My Dryer for more Works-for-Me Wednesday tips.
Hey, I like Car Talk (the show), too! Don’t get to listen to it as much as I’d like. But I agree-turning off the music, and telling Amanda to “put down that book” so that we can take advantage of the captive environment, really is great.
When she was younger (and would talk anyway, so I might as well steer the conversation!), we played games–a variation of 20 questions, to guess an animal or something, and I know we had a few others. It wasn’t connecting but it was educational, and something to direct the non-stop chatter of a 4 year old was a good thing!
Click and Clack, the Tapper Brothers. Boy, do I like that show. I think that most of what I know (not too much) about car maintenance is gleaned from their wisdom.
I have had some really good converstions with myself in the car, since most of my driving is done by myself. I have even talked to myself while C. was in the car with me, to which, he looks at me with a “what is wrong with you look” and says “waht”? So, I tell him that I was talking to myself, and then I let him in on the conversation.
Cars are good for talking.
If my boys read this they would say “yeah, Mom tortues us with car talk”. Just for that reason I pick my middle school up from school each day (instead of him taking the bus). I told my husband, “that is my quality time, I find out more about his day in those 2 miles, then I would any other time”. Because girls, boys clam up and get preoccupied as soon as they are home, so I have to get them when they have no place to go =))
ENOUGH SAID!! With all those DVD players out there it seems like most parents are trying to keep their kids quiet. I cherish the time I pick Matt up from school and talk about his day with the radio OFF. Great post!
One of my sons in particular would never open up if I sat across the table from him and tried to ask about his day or how things were going — but he would in the car. And even though it made life a lot more convenient when started driving, we did miss those car conversations.
Thank you for posting this…I find that the more I talk to my children the more I learn about “what makes them tick”!
We really have to make it a point
to take every opportunity we can to talk with our children ….especially while they are little!
Tracy
It works with everyone, not just kids. My husband and I talk more when we’re alone in the car driving somewhere. It seems at home that you can get too caught up talking about household stuff and forget to just talk.
The car is the best place because you have a captive audience. I try to remember that I need to take advantage of it.
Good advice! I just love the wide variety of topics you get for WFMW.
I like that idea. We rely a lot on Books on Tape, but when we’re between tapes we do a lot of talking. It’s amazing what they come up with when we’re trapped together!
Not only is it good for conversation, but, if you are alone, leaving the radio off is great for thinking. I love talk radio…but when I need to work out some ideas, or to generate some ideas off goes the radio and on goes the brain.
Hmmm, I could get big brownie points here for lettimg Mike know Click & Clack still exist. He doesn’t even want a paper anymore since they no longer run their column. Oh and riding in the car is a good time for spouse conversation as well, I find.
You really do have such wisdom Katrina. Our children are grown, but I think your idea works for us old folks too. When the radio is turned off and there are no CDs playing, my husband and I actually talk. And it is very nice.
Sometimes it’s nice just to ride in the silence – just being. There’s that quiet idea again. I think we might be on to something.
My dad used tp try “car talk” with me but it didn’t work too well because i thought he was just plain scary. Now that i am old, i do “bike talk” while riding (bicycles) with my dad. I can’t wait for my next session of “bike talk.”
Sounds like there’s a devotional hiding in here somewhere… oh, do write it and send it off.
This is great! The best conversations I’ve ever had with our kids have taken place in the car. (They’re a captive audience for “speeches” too.) I sometimes took a little list of prepared questions. Truly a meaningful time without distractions… other than traffic. :~)