Several months ago, our adult Bible class at church was having a conversation about prayer. The teacher threw out a number of questions: How should we pray? Should we pray over lots of specifics? Is it okay to ask God for what we would like (such as physical healing, a new job, etc.)? Or should we just ask God for His will to be done and leave it at that?
There was some good discussion. And while I often just sit back and observe, I decided to contribute that day. I said something that sounded really good:
“The more I think about prayer and trusting God, the more I think I should pray for the ‘bigger things,’ and trust God to handle all the little details. For example, I should pray for God’s guidance, direction, and will in the lives of my kids. But when I start asking for all the details to come about – you know, praying that one of C.’s friends ends up in his class this year so he doesn’t feel all alone, that kind of stuff – I think maybe it’s too much like I’m trying to control things. As if I’m telling God the right way to handle the situation. Instead, I need to just trust God to work everything out the way it should be.”
Sounds okay, right? Oh yes, I was feeling all spiritual at that moment. Full of insight and growth.
Well.
Fast forward a bit. L. was 6 days old and hadn’t pooped in 48 hours. The nurse at the pediatrician’s office sounded concerned and gave me instruction in what I needed to do if he didn’t poop soon (and those instructions were not pretty – I’ll spare you the details). So, can you guess what I prayed?
Was it, “Lord, please guide and direct L. in all things and let your will be done in his life”?
Um…no.
More like: “God, please let L. poop soon. Please. Please let him poop on his own so I don’t have to ________________.” (Once again sparing you the details there.)
Did you notice that in my contribution to the Bible class, I did not mention praying about poop? No ma’am, I did not. Poop would be one of those “trite little details” that would reveal my inappropriate attempt to control life instead of trusting God.
Yeah, well. All that spiritual insight went out the window in my moment of desperation.
I was reminded of other prayers of desperation over the years that had nothing to do with the big picture and everything to do with details:
Lord, please help the baby to stop crying and go to sleep.
Please let the rain slow down so I can see where I’m driving.
It’s 3 a.m. and I’m exhausted. Please make the squirrels in the attic stop scratching so I can fall asleep.
God, please let his fever break soon.
Oh please, oh please, oh please help me get home without the car breaking down.
So now, perhaps the best thing to pray would be:
“God, please forgive me for being a spiritual snob, for thinking I had prayer all figured out when I’m still learning, and will probably always be learning. And thank you, thank you that you hear the desperate prayers about details as well as the big-picture prayers. Thank you for being my Abba, Daddy, who lets me pour out my heart, my needs, my desires. And thank you for holding everything in your loving hand.”
I am so all over the place on this one, too. I honestly believe that at the core is just trusting God’s plan for us. We may (or may not) choose to pray for those specifics, but we have to trust and accept if we get something else. I think it’s just easier for me sometimes to pray for “His will” so that I am not ever disappointed.
I think that the Bible supports both types of prayer. Prayer seems so simple, but it’s something that really befuddles me.
This was a great, real-life example. Thanks.
The bible says “Cast ALL you cares on Him, for He careth for you!” He cares for the big and the small details and what He really wants is for you to come to Him as a child comes to their Father.
Great post, Katrina! As Susanne said, God wants us to come to Him as children. I think children are prone to being very specific, and even asking for BIG and little things (that maybe we, as adults, would never DREAM of asking for). One of my very first posts was about my daughter praying big. I think I’ll republish that today.
I ask God for little things all the time (finding my keys, helping in traffic, etc.). I certainly think He cares about us enough that the little things matter to Him (but we think He’s so big that our trivial concerns will be…well, trivial to Him). Maybe they are, but He hasn’t told me to stop praying for them yet.
I understand Jennifer’s point of not wanting to be disappointed. I’m guilty of that myself. In those times, I try to remember to ask Him to align my heart with His will. Don’t always do it, but I try.
Lastly, as for being a spiritual snob…I think we’ve all been there, sister! I know I have!
A spiritual snob, NO! The Holy Spirit just gently reminded you otherwise.
Sometimes I get to caught up on the little things I forget the big…”Oh yeah, and protect the President”. I should remember both.
But I told the Lord please lay on my heart what you want me to pray for or who, when I can not seem to remember the big things =))
K.
That’s one of the most beautiful posts on prayer I’ve ever read. Love the little dash of humor, too.
Well done.
Jules
Katrina,
I republished my entry and linked to you!
Without sounding unspiritual or unsaved, “poop happens”, or so we’ve been told. And then sometimes it doesnt. Wonderful to know He cares about both, and we can tell Him anything. Anything.
Sometimes I have to just say “Lord, I don’t even know what to pray for or say…but I know YOU are God and I am NOT…so just do what you need to do.”
It is a desperation prayer but sometimes, I’m just desperate.
You’re not a spiritual snob at all…I think we all go thru it like that at times.
Okay … I started to comment on this post, but it was so excellent, that I springboarded off of it for my Tuesday Toss Up.
If I truly believe God is my best friend and treat Him as such, then I will go to Him throughout every day with all things little and big — not necessarily for my own micromanaging or controlling, but to run every, single thing by Him. He knows it all anyway, but if He is my friend — then He won’t mind hearing it from me firsthand.
Thank you for a beautiful and heartwarming perspective on both aspects of prayer. Found you through GiBee and others.
I have really been wondering about this lately A LOT. God’s will or be specific? Both? He will give me the desires of my heart, but is that what I need? I don’t know. I just don’t know. But I do know that I enjoyed your perspective and your honesty. Isn’t it funny how we can have such a smart answer or comment, then the Lord shows us differently?!
Excellent post – so well-written and thoughtful.
And ditto what Susanne says.
If we can’t be ourselves with God, who can we be ourselves with? There’s no one else that can more understanding of the things that come out of our mouth or minds either daily or in prayer. Great post!
I was just going to add that you aren’t alone… but I guess that is apparent.
I find myself praying both ways. I ask that His perfect will be done, but knowing that he knows the number of the hairs on my head (no jokes needed), I regularly beg for specific outcomes.
I am with you though, Prayer is a tough one to figure out. As a fallible human I tend to feel so needy and greedy sometimes.
–Garr
I posted again on this…check it out.
This reminds me of a time when I had a revelation about prayer. I think I’ll post about it and link to you!
Loved this post the first time – just letting you know that I came by again.
Katrina, I’m here from Jennifer’s link to you
, but I’ve seen you around. I can’t remember if I’ve posted or not (sooo many good blogs, limited by TIME!).
I’m kinda “where” you are and Jennifer seems to be on this one. Prayer is conversation with God, and because the Holy Spirit indwells me, it’s on-going in a sense. There are plenty of examples in Scripture that tell us God cares about the details.
BUT…to examine the prayers of Scripture…the Psalms, OT, Jesus, Paul, other writers, their language is very different from what I hear often times on Sunday morning in my class. When I hear people praying for their “needs”, which are often “wants” (huge distinction), sometimes I am grieved.
And I guess, I’ve seen my own spiritual snobbery at work; I’m not going to tell you there was anything wrong with confessing that before the Lord. Sometimes it IS spiritual snobbery, so I applaud your honesty to God, to self, and to US! I hope you can read from this post, that I am NOT calling you that, just relating to and appreciating your candor.
Ok…lol, enough from me (a stranger). I’ll visit again soon
.